Distinguishing Between Core & Surface Desires

Have you ever really wanted something to work out – new job, new relationship, someone’s approval – and it simply didn’t? Where you’ve put a great deal of time, energy and effort into making it happen and yet it dissipated as quickly as boiled water vapor into the air?

The disappointment can be tangible. And it can seem at odds with the belief that you can manifest whatever you want. So what’s the difference? Why can we manifest some things and not others?

Desire is a complicated and interesting emotion. It’s important to notice the underlying current beneath the object of what you desire. Often what we think we want is based entirely on something else.

For a new job, are you really looking for more stability, more security, more mental stimulation and fulfillment, or to be supported and praised for our achievements? With the new relationship, are you truly seeking love, acceptance, or feeling valued? In regards to someone’s approval, are you looking for validation that you’re enough?

What’s at the base of your desire? What is the feeling state that you hope to achieve?

Once we can identify that, we can address our core needs head on. Otherwise, even if we get the specific outcome we were hoping for (job, relationship, approval — all surface desires), it may not actually satiate our core desire.

With the core feeling state held gently in our attention, like you would cradle a fragile shell. Then set an intention for yourself. That could be any of the following:

May I feel stable. May I feel fulfilled. May I feel supported. May I feel loved. May I feel valued. May I feel that I am enough.

May I…(use your own words).

Then envision already having all the circumstances that you believe will provide you with that feeling state.

Now notice how you feel in your body. Are you looser? Holding less tension? Lighter?

You have just given yourself exactly that core need you identified.

I invite you to meditate on that visualization, including repeating the mantra of choice (from above) for 10 minutes a day for a full week. Then notice how you pull other circumstances toward you that support this emotional state.

You may not get what you asked for, and yet you may find you’re getting exactly what your core self wants.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.