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Fear Part I: How to use Fear to Find Your Gifts

Zip Lining in Zimbabwe near Victoria Falls

In Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, he defines one of the greatest tools in the arsenal of Resistance – the blocker of creative and spiritual growth – is fear. Resistance feeds on our fear. Not only our fear of failure and all the perceived ramifications that would entail, but also fear of success.

“Fear…that we can access the powers we secretly know we possess. That we can become the person we sense in our hearts we truly are…We fear discovering that we are more than we think we are….That we actually have the guts, the perseverance, the capacity.”

Why do we fear our greatness? Why do we shirk away from owning our gifts?

According to Pressfield, and I wholeheartedly agree, “We know that if we embrace our ideals, we must prove worthy of them. And that scares the hell out of us.”

I worked with a friend on her fear of owning her clairvoyance. When it came down to it, she was afraid that if she misinterpreted an intuitive hit, people would think she was a fraud. And worse, she would stop believing in herself and her gifts.

It’s the Pandora’s box that once opened, cannot be closed. Once we embrace who we are meant to be – that amazing, fabulous, glittering Self that we are – we have “come out” to the world. And that is scary. I know because I’ve lived it.

It took about a year, but I “came out” as a woo-woo spiritual healer after changing careers to become a Life Coach. I “came out” again to my husband and family as someone who can feel other people’s energy and physical pain as my own.

When I was at a friend’s birthday party, I shared with a new acquaintance about some mind-body connection tools that healed my chronic back pain. His response was, “Oh, so you’re the spiritual weirdo my wife was telling me about.” (And to think I didn’t even tell him about my new and full moon rituals!)

It didn’t bother me, because I knew he wasn’t my people. I’d already found my tribe!

As soon as I had claimed these gifts and embraced what that meant for me and my future, a whole new world opened up to me. All of a sudden, I was meeting new people who shared these gifts. More than I imagined was even possible.

I feel like Cole Sear in The Sixth Sense, except instead of dead people, it’s healers with empathic, intuitive and clairvoyant abilities. (Don’t get me wrong, I now have friends who see dead people, too…but I digress.) They’re everywhere and they’re wonderful!

Now it’s time to tackle my remaining fears, one of which is public speaking. The fact that Resistance is using my fear against me only means that it is something I must do. It fits into my purpose and is a step up in my spiritual growth (and potentially helping others with theirs).

Now is the time to act. To be brave. To be a courageous bad-ass. Using all the coaching tools in my arsenal, and asking others for help, I’ll beat Resistance – because I must.

What is your fear? Coaching can help you tap into your gifts and beat resistance! Let’s talk!

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What you Fixate on, you Create

Manifest Destiny

Can you imagine what our lives would be like if we were as obsessive about our dreams as we are over tragedy, both imagined and circumstantial?

We manifest what we believe.

Part of me wonders if our collective fear over what we believe Trump will do to America has created the very chaos we’re watching unfold right now. Then we spin up more fears, and it continues to become more insane. One giant self-fulfilling prophecy-spiral built by our anger, fear and sadness.

And this goes for everything we are upset about.

That guy who stole your parking space at the packed festival after you were circling the lot for 20 minutes — two weeks ago. And you’re still plotting your choice words for him if you cross paths again.

That anxiety over whether, if only you had said or done things differently on your first interview, there would have been a second. Now you’ll be stuck at your current job forever stapling briefing packets in some cold basement with cobwebs and mold.

Stress over wondering if your six-month old child will eventually be an addict on the streets because you didn’t realize you were pregnant until after your sister’s wild bachelorette in Vegas. So you fanatically search for articles on the topic and end up binge reading the hundreds of ways parenting can go wrong.

Believing yourself unworthy of finding that special someone because you haven’t yet, therefore you’ll be alone and die among your fifteen cats. And you don’t even like, nor have ever owned, cats.

Think about how much energy is spent in that headspace. That worry over a future state that doesn’t even exist outside of our minds.

If we could harness all of that mental space and emotional energy and put it toward what would make our hearts sing with elation, how would our lives be different?

If we were fixated on pursuing our passions, would we already have brought our dreams to fruition?

If our conversations were boisterously engaged with the steps we’re taking toward pursuing what brings us joy, how much happier would we be overall?

Where our attention goes, we go. We are the creators of our reality.

What do you choose to focus on? What beliefs about your future do you want to run toward?


If you don’t believe you are capable of achieving all you desire, or if you find yourself obsessing over the chaos in your life instead of joy, coaching can help. Let’s talk!