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How Fascination and Joy can Lead you to Your Purpose

From the smallest insect to the largest whale, each living being was created for a purpose and plays an integral role in the ecosystem. In an untouched and raw form, all of nature works in balance.

You, too, have been given talents, strengths, preferences and tastes that combine to create the unique you that you are. They wouldn’t be yours, and you wouldn’t be here, if you weren’t needed to serve the world in only the way you can. If everyone played the part they were born to, humanity could also be in balance.

Instead, we’ve built hierarchical power pyramids and convinced ourselves that the only way to be happy is to be at the top. Many struggle to stand on the backs of others to get just a bit higher, and higher. All the while believing if we could only reach the next level, then we’d finally be happy. Yet, upon reaching each level, we thirst for more. It’s never enough. (If this doesn’t sound even a teensy bit familiar, where do you live and can I join you?)

Why is it not enough? Because higher isn’t really what we want at our core. It doesn’t fit into the shape of our hearts, which knows our purpose and loves every aspect of it.

In ancient wisdom traditions, elders encouraged their youth to play their hearts out. Through observing what stoked the individual’s attention, fascination and imagination, they could determine how this child could eventually serve their greater community. While this practice has been lost in our current culture, everyone has an opportunity to tap back into that tradition to find their purpose.

The breadcrumbs are in what delights, fascinates, and energizes you.

Growing up, how did you love to play? What did you dream up? What imaginary problems did you solve? What topics fascinated you? What information did you soak up and remember easily?

Assuming you’re an adult, what activities cause you to lose all track of time because you are so enamored with the experience?

If you could get a free day to do whatever you wanted to do, no matter the financial cost (and within legal and moral boundaries), what would you do? (If your answer is sleep, then my hunch is you’re overworked. So what would you do after you caught up on however much sleep you need?)

There is a way to use what brings you joy to serve others. It makes you happy because it’s part of your path, it’s part of who you’re intended to be and what you’re intended to provide your community. It simply requires your imagination and problem-solving to understand how to make it your vocation.

It may not even exist as a job, business, product or service yet. You may need to create it. And while that takes work, your passion and sense of fulfillment will outweigh the trials to create it. If it doesn’t, you haven’t yet found the right fit, though you’re probably in the ballpark.

If you don’t love what you do, you’re robbing the world of your gifts. You owe it to yourself, your loved ones, and your community to live a joyful life that also happens to give the world exactly what it needs.

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If you’re ready to explore what brings you joy in order to find your purpose, coaching can help. Let’s talk!

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What is Your Time, Joy & Health Worth?

Great blue heron

Our minds are incredible. We create music, art, technology, and solutions to our ever-evolving problems. We process millions of bits of information per second. We are constantly innovating, learning and growing. We dream up alternate worlds and fantastical stories that entertain and delight us. And yet, with all that power, we can find ourselves spending much of it on reliving painful memories or envisioning worst-case future scenarios.

The person who cut us off in traffic and then flipped us off like it was our fault, the underhanded slight our coworker made in a meeting, or a friend who lied can take up an enormous amount of brain space. Sometimes it is busy envisioning future doomsday scenarios of the ten thousand ways an anticipated conversation or event will go down. Like somehow if we could see around corners we would be better prepared for the horrors of what our mind has concocted (which rarely, if ever, end up happening).

My hunch is, if we were to count the minutes and hours spent living in the past or the future, we would find that it far outweighs engaging in the present moment.

Think of all that we could have potentially achieved if that time were spent “exist(ing) in perpetual creative response to whatever is present.” (Yogi Amrit Desai)

What would you do if you could maximize your potential?

That’s what coaching offers. It helps you flush the junk away so that you can free up that mental space for more productive and fulfilling activities. You get your time and joy back, and often as a result, your physical health improves.

What is that worth to you?

For me, it was life changing. So much so that I have made it my vocation because I so passionately want to help everyone feel as good as I do. When I found this other, easier way to live, I shouted from the highest mountain, “Join me! The view is amazing!”

If you’re ready to unpack the burden of your mind’s limiting beliefs and painful thoughts, let’s talk. I have a hunch you have an incredibly joyous and impactful life that’s just waiting to be lived to the fullest!

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How to Find Your Driving Motivation & Why it’s Important to Achieve Your Goals

Lion Scratching Head on Bush

What we think we want is not always what we truly want. Often, there is a deeper desire hidden underneath the surface. When we connect with that driving motivation, it helps guide us more clearly.

The longer I coach and the more people I work with, I’ve realized that most often our root desire is freedom. (The others are either joy or connection. For the purpose of this blog, though, we’ll focus on the most common.)

Take any goal or desire, and ask yourself, “Why? What do I get from that?” until you can’t find another driving motivation beneath the last.

Let’s take money, for example. Often my clients come to me with a goal to make more money. When asked what more money (or a certain goal retirement amount) will get them, their response is “stability” or “security.” When asked what stability or security gives them, they usually respond with some sort of variation of, “the freedom to do whatever I want.”

If I have a client who wants to lose weight, we often find she simply wants to feel confident or accepted. At the root of that is connecting with the freedom to be herself without fearing other’s opinions. Sometimes it’s even finding freedom from her own self-judgment.

Another client wanted to be healthier. What did he think a healthy body would get him? The freedom to do all the activities, and go all the places, he enjoys.

My entrepreneurial clients, who are building their own businesses, are driven by the freedom that enables. They’re free to work on the projects they want to, work with the clients they want to, hire the people they want to, and set their own schedules. They have the freedom to work wherever they want, however they want. That autonomy is much juicier to them than the alternative of working for someone else, who would dictate their time, projects and goals.

Why do people enjoy vacations? Yes, it offers the opportunity to recharge our batteries. It is also a socially acceptable excuse to spend that time completely autonomously.

If you want to lounge all day and dance all night, you have the freedom to do so. You are free to go wherever and do whatever you want (within budget and legal constraints, of course). You are free from household chores, errands, work responsibilities and whatever burdens you carry at home. And if you’re like me, I also give myself the freedom to eat and drink whatever I want because, hey, it’s vacation!

What is it you want? Ask yourself “Why?” Dig into what that thing will give you. Keep asking until you’re at the root cause, your driving motivation. You might surprise yourself where you end up.

Once you find your driving motivation, ask yourself if there are other ways to achieve that right now. Finding that feeling state doesn’t necessarily require reaching big, far-off goals. It can often be found in simpler, quicker ways.

Use this driving motivation as your touchstone for decision making. When deciding between two paths, which one will get you closer to achieving your root desire — whether that be freedom, joy or connection?

I’m curious what you uncover. Please share your experience with this exercise in the comments!