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Fear Part II: Each of us is Worthy

Wiley Coyote

No matter how many times I do The Work, I’m still in loving awe of the wounds that continue to surface and be released. In the words of Lloyd Dobins, “Continual improvement is an unending journey.” I will not stop seeking spiritual growth because the freedom it brings is so delicious.

Most recently, I’ve been working on my fear of public speaking, which was born from an incident on a stage where my mind was wiped clean of all thought and my tongue disabled. Since that Spring of 1997, any time I was called on to speak in front of more than a couple strangers, I felt fear.

My heart rate drummed like pounding rain, my palms would sweat, my tongue would feel like sand, and the words I searched for would swirl around evasively in my mind. Most often, I would write down what I wanted to say before I ever spoke…practicing it over and over again in my mind, and then repeating verbatim when the time came.

The more this happened, the more reinforced my fear became until it was a belief that my brain and body would betray me.

At first, I uncovered and dissolved this limiting belief by turning it on it’s axis and realizing that it sabotaged me from going down a path that wasn’t my calling. It actually saved me. Had my time on stage worked out, I might be an actress or a news anchor. That’s not my intended path.

Yet, the public speaking fear continued to grip my heart like vice clamps.

The real culprit was worthiness. Resistance was using my fear of not proving worthy enough. Who wants to listen to me? What do I have to say that is of importance? My words are not worth people’s time.

Aha! There you are, you sneaky little painful thoughts!

Thanks to a very dear friend and fellow coach, we looked at this silly – yet paralyzing – belief group and found plenty of proof to the opposite.

I am worthy of people’s time and attention. What I have to share has value. My story and my experience is mine and mine alone. No one before me and no one after me has lived my life. While there may be some commonalities, for sure, it is uniquely mine. AND SO ARE YOU AND YOURS!

On a call with Martha Beck, she shared, “There are only about five stories ever told across all time, and still we all want more. We want to hear it over and over again.”

Think about it. The best-selling books, blockbuster movies and Tony-Award winning musicals are all the same stories about the same struggles with the same archetypes told in different ways, with different backdrops, characters and voices. Yet we still can’t get enough of them. And we continue to create more in unique and innovative ways.

What I have to say may not be for everyone, and I actually prefer to reach only those who need to hear it. And it may not be life changing. Yet planting seeds is still a necessary step before ever picking fruit.

Each one of us is worthy.

What story do you have to share?

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The Energy of Money

Find Your Serenity with Life Coaching

I was recently watching a video of Martha Beck talking about the energy of money. When someone is vibrating at the same frequency with it, it flows freely…when someone’s energy is tense and tight about it, they miss each other.

“Money issues exist independently – they don’t track to our pocket books or bank accounts; they track to our belief system,” said Martha Beck. “The irony is that we tell ourselves that it’s realistic thinking. That we need more to feel good.”

It is the Western cultural belief system that the presence of physical money will somehow make us feel more stable or secure. It’s the fish-bowl effect. If you put a goldfish in a small fishbowl, the fish will stay small. If you transfer the fish to a giant aquarium, the goldfish will grow huge and take up the space. Having “more” simply makes us want for “more.” But how much is “enough?” The goal line continues to move further and further away if the belief system that supports it is based on believing that money will create the feelings of safety and security.

Instead, if we focus on tapping into the feeling states of safety and security – we create an open flow of abundance toward us in many forms.

If your limiting beliefs about money (ex: “I don’t have enough!” “What if I lose it all?” “Why am I hemorrhaging money?”) result in feelings of anxiety, stress, and hopelessness, then of course money won’t be attracted to you. It’s a push energy instead of a pull energy.

The reason socially-determined “rich people” stay “rich” is because that’s normal and expected. If you’ve always had money, why would you not continue to have it? Finances are not a point of stress and therefore it flows to and from affluent individuals as a tool.

Martha offered an interesting perspective that I’ve since pondered and explored. She explained, fairly simply, that money is merely a symbol of value. I value certain consumables and products, therefore I give you a symbol of value in exchange for it, and you then give that to someone else for your own consumables and products.

None of us can eat money. You don’t build a roof of dollar bills and coins to protect you from the elements. I’m not sitting on a mound of cash to be comfortable while I’m writing this. Hence the term “exchange rate.”

Money is neither evil nor good. It is simply neutral. If we use it for evil, or we use it for good, money itself remains merely a tool. It’s the same as a knife. Whether I use a knife to cut meat to eat or to stab someone, the knife itself carries no morality. We give it its value and usefulness. When money is exchanged, it’s all done on computers and in databases tabulating numbers…nothing tangible is actually moved between banks or financial institutions. Even inflation is a concept of a change in value. It’s all perception of worth and completely relative.

When viewed this way, we can then set the foundation for what we consider as wealth. What do we have in abundance that we value?

I couldn’t help but chuckle when Martha offered that she has an abundance of gravity that thankfully keeps her firmly planted on Earth so that she doesn’t float away. (Touché.) She added there is an abundance of oxygen that we can breath freely. Once she started this thought train, I began to think of all the things I have in abundance that I am grateful for. I encourage you to add your own as well:

I have in abundance:

  1. Carbon-Dioxide – I create this gas without any effort at all. I make it in my sleep, and just going about my day. I’ve made it since the day I was born before I was able to do anything else and will continue to create carbon dioxide until I die.
  2. Love from my dog – Pets are the most loving, and lovable, creatures on the planet. If I wanted to snuggle and play with my dog all day, he’d be ecstatic. There is no end to his affection.
  3. Sun – Living in Southern California, it’s pretty much sunny every day. There is so much sun, freely given, that I can simply walk outside and soak it up for as long as the day is long. And even after it goes down, I can still soak in its reflection off the moon. Aside from the warmth and pleasure the sunshine provides, it also gives me plenty of Vitamin D.
  4. Plants – In my community, there is no shortage of grass, trees, shrubbery, flowers and vines. Even Bird of Paradise plants grow like weeds. (My friend, Deb, in Texas shared that florists charge $10 per flower. So I sent her a picture of an overgrown bush of Bird of Paradise I walk by every day that was “worth” at least $500.) Not only are they comforting to admire and walk past, each one is converting my carbon dioxide and providing oxygen for me to breathe.
  5. Natural light in my home – Due to the open and split-level floor plan, I have an abundance of large windows from floor to vaulted ceiling that provide lots of natural light. This provides a peaceful setting to work from home.
  6. Sand, waves and seashells at the beach – Living a mere half mile from the ocean, not only do I have unlimited access to a public beach, there is an abundance of soft sand for my toes to play in and waves that continue to crash against the shore with no end. In addition, every time I go, I come home with bags full of seashells. (More than I have room for at home.) Nature just keeps providing sand, waves and seashells.
  7. Blood – My body is constantly manufacturing blood. I can donate my blood and still have enough to live and function. My body creates more and I can donate again in a few months. Blood carries oxygen and processed food to all parts of my body without my having to “do” anything.
  8. Dreams – Every time I sleep, I dream. I may not remember them all, but I have an abundance of dreams. Even the dreams I remember are so plentiful that I can’t keep up with analysis of them all. My subconscious is creating astoundingly insightful and symbolic dreams as a way of processing the millions of data points my nervous system is ingesting each second of the waking day.
  9. Body Processing Power – My nervous system (specifically my sensory nervous system made up of: eyes, skin, tongue, nose, ears) is innately processing 11-million bits of information per second. This information is so abundant that my cognitive mind can’t equally pace at 40-bits per second.
  10. Creativity – Whether I consider just my own or the combination of creative power across every human on the planet, we have the capacity to be extremely creative and innovative. Artists are consistently churning out completely original pieces and ideating even more. Every day, people are innovating products that improve lives and ways of doing things. Art and innovation is, and always will be, creating new and different objects of value.

Now that I’m on a roll, more areas flow to mind like clouds that provide shade and beautiful sunsets, dirt for growth of food, concrete streets for smooth transportation, dew that appears everywhere each morning and gives plants moisture…the list of abundance goes on…and on…and on.

When I tally all this up, plus more that will come to mind as the days and weeks progress, I am infinitely rich. And so are you. We all are. It’s merely a matter of perspective. Live a life in abundance and prosperity will continue to flow to you in a variety of forms.

I invite you to add your own areas of abundance in the comments below!